Monday, November 7, 2011

Stress, listening and fatigue.

Today, I went back to the walk in clinic at the urging of several friends and family members.  To give you a little follow up, I went to the same clinic 12 days ago and was prescribed a 10 day course of antibiotics. After finishing the full course of antibiotics and not feeling any better, I followed their urgings and returned.  The MD staffing the walk-in today is NOT my favorite.  I always leave feeling that he had a preconceived notion of my ailment or rather lack of ailment and viewed my complaints through this scope.  He decided that the reason I am so fatigued is due to stress.  He questioned me about whether or not I had any additional stress in my life.  I said not any more than usual, which compared to a significant number of people is very minimal.  I do not feel like stress is what is causing me to have this extreme fatigue... seriously, I've been sleeping probably 12-14 hours a day(I normally sleep 6-7 hours/day).  I do not feel well.  I just want to feel better and I want someone to listen to me.  I don't know what to do about all that, but I try to glean some sort of wisdom/insight from every situation.  Today, this is what I take from all this mess.
I resolve to listen to others.  Not the half-hearted mmmm-hmmm...... oh really?...... Yeah... type of listening where 99.9% of my brain is engaged in other activities, thoughts and plans.  I mean to really listen... to hear their pain, joy, sorrow, fear, regrets, stress, etc.  I'm usually fairly good at listening, but I think I do have room for improvement.
I resolve to have more compassion for others.  This is something I have faced several times recently... lack of compassion.  People just expecting me to keep on going, because they think I'm just over-reacting or something. If someone says they are sick, I resolve to believe them.  I will do my best not to minimize other's feelings, situations, fears, regrets, no matter if their situation is born of their decisions.
I resolve to care.
I resolve to be kind
I resolve to be stronger.
I resolve to never, ever go to the walk-in clinic again, especially if Dr. Murphy is working.

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