Needy

Today, I need affirmation.
I need someone to wrap their arms around me, hold onto me and tell me that everything is going to be ok.
Not just empty words... because they KNOW it is all going to be ok.
That everything will shake out in the end...
But I don't have any more twinkle lights...
And I don't know that it will.
They say everything you have done has brought you to this point.
I want to undo it all and start over...
Can I have a mulligan?
This is all too much.
Today, I need someone to tell me that I CAN work full time and go to school... 'cause I feel like everything is unravelling and I can't remember if that word is supposed to have only one l or two.
My brain is mushy and I feel like throwing up.

Today, I am sad.
How can I have lived for so long and made all the wrong choices?
Today, I wish I wasn't going to school.



Today, I wish.
Today, I need.
Today, I am...
And that is about all.
I want to rewind, I want to fast forward, I want to pause, I want to stop, I want to play.